I need ass-kickin & I need it now

This is probalby going to read pretty choppily cause most of it is cut & pasted from an MSN tyrade but please feel free to read through the regurgitation that is

Why Eightball hates Comics to Film crossovers

The part of eightball will be played by RIFFZILLA

RIFFZILLA says:
Yeah I didn't think to much of it (spiderman film), but I rarely like Comics2Films as they spend too much time on creating the pre-story [that everyone pretty much knows] & not enough time with Spidey KICKIN ASS!

(it should also be clarified, I haven't seen the second Spidey film & I think Raimey is a fucking genius)

RIFFZILLA says:
Director: Hmmm he needs a love interest, & a reason to fight crime.
No he doesn't he just needs tights & a hell of a lot of ASS TO KICK

RIFFZILLA says:
Lame-0: Spidey, why'd you kick that guys ass?
Spidey: cause it was there...
BOOT! (sound of Spidey kickin ass of same lame-o)

RIFFZILLA says:
Trust me when kids buy comics they don't rush down to the ship thinking gee I hope this issue has Spidey contemplating why he's compelled to fight crime, or gee I really hope Spidey finds love this time. They think

I HOPE HE KICKS SOMEONES ASS IN EVERY FRAME


RIFFZILLA says:
Batman comics are cool
RIFFZILLA says:
batman movies stink like a semen covered turd
RIFFZILLA says:
that said, the new one looks like it COULD be ok
RIFFZILLA says:
but it will more than likely suck a semen covered turd

RIFFZILLA says:
Fantastic Four, I wonder how long they spend explaining how they became fantastic. Cuase if it's anymore than 10 seconds. they missed the point
RIFFZILLA says:
another lamer: Hey Human Torch - How did you start catching on fire & shit.

Human Torch: Read the fucking book nerdlinger - BOOT!

another lamer: Hey thanks Human Torch, I needed my ass kicked there. I forgot I wasn't watching Shindlers List & wanted to 'learn something' Please resume 125 minutes of ceaseless ass kicking

RIFFZILLA says:
it's staggering how much they fuck it up though really.
1. people who read the comics know the pre-story & don't care to see it rehashed
2. people who don't read the comics don't care about the pre-story (or they'd read the comics) & just want to see ass kickin.

All that said the first hour of Sin City is fucking fantastic. wanna know why? cause
1. They had an awesome comic to work with
2. They took only very minor liberites with the storyline
3. It has pretty much NO exposition (thanks to the comics, but also like MOST comics)your dumped straight into Hardigan's story. as it should be.

They should base all comix2films off this formula, dont make a batman film make a Batman - Killing Joke movie. a full graphic novel story that just needs to be adapted to the screen. That comic was popular as shit FOR A REASON...

No 50 minutes of, right. there was this guy. his parents died - & then something about bats happened... you see bats..

so he's batman

cause of the thing that happened with the bats...

BATS!

thats why he's batman.

cause of the bats..

for fucks sake who wants to watch that, & before you laugh - think of most of the batman films that have been released...................

Comic2Films should be awesome but for the most part they are not.
& like Twisted Sister said

I'm NOT GOING TO TAKE IT

NO

I AIN"T GONNA TAKE IT

ANYMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE

so what does that mean (other than TML is now 7000 pixels long) it means we need to pitch a screenplay of Batman - Killing Joke or Batman - Judgement on Gotham or something, (Not anything Superman though cause he was always a raving homo, except for that series where he died, that may be OK.) It would be the best comic adaption ever, we'd get rich & Stomp could finally pay someone to look after his PC's. And if anyone says Wah Wah Wah it's too hard, all I have to say is if you're willing to stand in between the oppurtunity for Skaffen to have enough money to buy the Japanese Womens Volleyball Team & a pack of disposable Bic razors thats your choice.

Nuff said, now I've done the hard work. Stomp you do the easy bit & write the screenplay, Skaff & M-Pox can wrestle naked in Peanut Butter to decide who does the pitch to Hollywood exec's dressed in a suit of armour.

("you may be wondering why I'm doing this pitch in a suit of armour, the fact is you see this script if so fucking awesome if my body wasn't constrained by all this metal plating the radness would swell up from my balls & explode my body all over your nice walls, now sit down & open up your fucking chequebook")

Master and Servant

The latest CGtalk challenge results are in. Check this stuff out - absorbant underwear rule applies.

(Antropus, who won the 3D category, always does amazing stuff.)

HOLY SHIT look at the prizes

Farewell

Alright kids, I am outta here. I'll let you know how things are going and how shit the Poms are at IT :)

Watched SAW

I hired it for nightshift and actually got a bit excited thinking it might be cool. When I put it on I got a sinking feeling, that I might really like it and have to eat shit. Trying to be objective, I was quite disappointed.

The short review: Don't bother hiring it. Honestly. Get the Texas Chainsaw remake or something, at least that has a hot chick. SAW looks like a made-for-TV film, and a shitty one at that.

The longer review, no spoilers: It's quite self concious, the camera work sucks ass when they try to get all "spun out". Well, they over use the "camera spins around the subject" shot, so I guess that could be blamed on the editor too. The acting is often just not good enough, and the script is pretty bad. It stalls badly halfway through and runs on the spot for 20 minutes, and then just gets dumb. Trying to be clever, there's so many flashbacks it loses track of itself, and the "revelations" and the end made me roll my eyes and shake my head through the last 15 minutes. Parts that were meant to be shocking were so lame I was wincing at the crapness. Honestly it's really cheesy.

10 minutes in I realised that the hype about these two kids who made a film is just that, hype, and instead of being in relation to how good the film is, the hype is a completely seperate event. The film didn't have to be good, it just had to exist. I guess the film festival circuit has to have films to screen, and the associated media has to say something.

I'm not angry, just really let down. If this film was rad I'd be mad and jealous. Instead I feel quite sad. I guess people are just stupid. If someone tells you they like this film, they probably think "The Blair Witch 2 - Book of Shadows" was "interesting".

AVALON

My 11 year old is ready for role playing, but the idea of starting a low level DnD Campaign bores me to tears. Last night on nightshift surfing ebay for out-of-print RPGs I worked out what to do - "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and other strangeness" by Palladium had a heap of rad expansion books, one was Avalon, like Arthurian Britain but with anthropomorphic animals instead of people. I don't know if it had magic but this campaign will.

The 11 year old wants to be a ninja fox (he loves Star Fox Adventures on Game Cube) the 4 year old an echidna (standing up on his hind legs, with little arms holding a bow and arrow. Maybe he should use his own quills for ammo?) and the wife a wizard owl who lives up in a fully furnished tree house out in the deep forest (she refused to let me name the character "Barny".) The first NPC that came to mind is a rhino blacksmith with a huge gut who brews his own beer - he can repair and manufacture items but roll first to see if he's passed out drunk. The Royal Knights are rabbits and field mice or whatever, everyone is relative in size - mice hobbit size, rhino ogre size, etc.

The idea of a humanoid echidna decked out in a broadsword, huge shield and custom heavy medieval armour really works for me. Everyone wants to start playing immediately, but I haven't got the rulebooks yet... I've worked out some twists that could carry this campaign for years.

Any ideas suggestions or feedback please let me know. I'll use TMNT or the 2nd edition called After the Bomb (ATB was originally just a TMNT expansion, the 2nd edition was renamed due to lapsed licensing agreement) the combat system is OK and quick and easy, but I think I'll throw in parrying from Stormbringer for swordfights, and at this stage I think I'll just use the spell system from ADnD, sparingly. (Start with a 1st level spell, any more you'll need to find a scroll, copy it into your spell book and study it.)

What do you reckon?

Umm, what the fuck?

Latest Gantz

Latest scanlated Gantz are updated HERE, these are the scanlators. (Available there as torrents.)

But I found those torrents were down today, so I went to the 2 official direct download sites:
HERE (fast, only the latest 5 chapters)
and
HERE (not quite as fast but the last 12 chapters)

When shockwave release new chapters, they become available on those 2 direct sites pretty soon after, and I found it quicker and easier to get the direct rather than torrents.

See me for the whole back catalogue, but this might be a useful resource once you're up to date.

Adaptec/Roxio arse-eating bastards

I would just like to share with you my opinions regarding the software released by Roxio the fucked up spinoff of Adaptec. Namely their shared interest in the 'Easy CD Creator' line of products.

I discovered today that when you install Easy-Arse-Fuck-Creator it overwrites the Windows XP cd-rom and cd-r drivers for you. You may think this makes sense and is kinda handy, and it would be, except when their drivers CANNOT RUN UNDER XP.

Dumb cunts.

Even better, you can't back-out the drivers cause the installer isn't that smart and it's kinda difficult to fix the problem cause you can't use your cd-rom drives any more either.

I had the pleasure of discovering this when returning my brother-in-laws freshly re-built system to him. I estimate about 8 hours went in to building, installing and tuning the box. Now I get to start all over again.

So, a big thanks and FUCK YOU to Roxio and Adaptec. You're a pack of cunts.

Havok physics domino video

2.15MB

The Lightwave boys are lamenting that we can't get this physics engine in LW. Our Hard body dynamics are relatively crap.

Awesome weekend

We had a week off little league footy so I took the kids to Games Workshop. The wife is concerned I'm a nerd influence. I explained Skaffen and Eightball want to know why it's taken so long. Anyway 8 years old proved to be too young for wargaming, but my oldest is now 11 and right into it. We took one of his mates along too, and I booked them in for free "hobby academy" 4 sundays where they teach them everything from assembly and painting thru to the wargaming. They have already picked out their favourite models they want, and yes, so have I.

Then a game of Space Hulk last night. I now know why terminator armour is so bulky, they would most certainly have toilets built in, because that game is scary shit. I can hear the corridors of the floating space wreck reverberating with the sound of flushing toilets as the genestealer hordes swarm out of the floor....

Wargaming is fun. Introducing your sons to it is even funner.

We all love Judy

Judas Priest's 2005 release Angel of Retribution - a study by eightball

Whoah, I approached this album with a fair amount of scepticism, as most awesome metal bands end up recording urinal cake standard material after about 4 releases.

The new Judy album is fucking gold, riffs & drums are just modern enough to make them better than if they were thin & shitty 80's sounding.

But Halford is in fucking top form. The first track says it best

JUDAS IS RISING.

damn fucking right!!!

get this & play it for your signifigant other, all of a sudden you wont have to listen to something gay in the car, she'll let you play this as you charge down the highway. If you liked the Darkness in 2002 (& you fucking well better have) this is the next best thing.

---------------------------

PS. Due to blogger being a bit shit, this actually posted to 3DP instead, I was going to delete it, but I figure that blog needs all the help it can get to stop being a gaynerd repository.

I FINALLY saw Star Wars

... and this morning when the kids came running down to our room to find out if it was good, I made an announcement:
"There will be no more presents until further notice, I am saving up for a General Greivous figure to put on my computer. That is all."

My wife said "You're a dork." But I didn't listen, I was busy trying to work out if I should get the figure with the bike as well.

Suspended Anusmation

The new Fantomas album 'Suspended Animation' has just become my new favourite album. I know Stomp has some issues with Fantomas because he thinks their a bit artschool (& he's right). But I think this one could be the one that flips him around.

It's kinda like their first (so far best) album Amenaza el Mundo in that its essentially 45 minutes of detached riffing & noise that after 25 listens is commited to memory & therefore becomes totally fucking awesome. But this one has a small amount to more structure to it & also a small amount of actual vocals like their 'Directors Cut' album.

The theme is somehow linked to animation. what the link is I'm not 100% on yet. but overall there is a more quirky side to it. which makes you think you're watching a noisecore kids cartoon show..

And if that idea doesn't make your rectum smile I dont know what the fuck you're doing here.

Dirt Fuckin' Cheap Laptops

Acer 1.3ghz Lappie under a grand

Compaq 1.3ghz Lappie for just over a grand (bigger XGA screen, more ram upgradability)

& look whats next to that, an ex-lease (refurbished?) IBM thinkpad for 700 BUCKS. Everyone knows my thoughts on thinkpads, they aren't the prettiest laptops around, but they're built to last & are generally small with exceptional battery life.

if I had the means I'd definatley pick one of these little wonders up as a portable lowend lappie SOON as they will go quick before end of the financial year

It gets...

...better...



...and better...



...and better.