I need ass-kickin & I need it now
Why Eightball hates Comics to Film crossovers
The part of eightball will be played by RIFFZILLA
RIFFZILLA says:
Yeah I didn't think to much of it (spiderman film), but I rarely like Comics2Films as they spend too much time on creating the pre-story [that everyone pretty much knows] & not enough time with Spidey KICKIN ASS!
(it should also be clarified, I haven't seen the second Spidey film & I think Raimey is a fucking genius)
RIFFZILLA says:
Director: Hmmm he needs a love interest, & a reason to fight crime.
No he doesn't he just needs tights & a hell of a lot of ASS TO KICK
RIFFZILLA says:
Lame-0: Spidey, why'd you kick that guys ass?
Spidey: cause it was there...
BOOT! (sound of Spidey kickin ass of same lame-o)
RIFFZILLA says:
Trust me when kids buy comics they don't rush down to the ship thinking gee I hope this issue has Spidey contemplating why he's compelled to fight crime, or gee I really hope Spidey finds love this time. They think
I HOPE HE KICKS SOMEONES ASS IN EVERY FRAME
RIFFZILLA says:
Batman comics are cool
RIFFZILLA says:
batman movies stink like a semen covered turd
RIFFZILLA says:
that said, the new one looks like it COULD be ok
RIFFZILLA says:
but it will more than likely suck a semen covered turd
RIFFZILLA says:
Fantastic Four, I wonder how long they spend explaining how they became fantastic. Cuase if it's anymore than 10 seconds. they missed the point
RIFFZILLA says:
another lamer: Hey Human Torch - How did you start catching on fire & shit.
Human Torch: Read the fucking book nerdlinger - BOOT!
another lamer: Hey thanks Human Torch, I needed my ass kicked there. I forgot I wasn't watching Shindlers List & wanted to 'learn something' Please resume 125 minutes of ceaseless ass kicking
RIFFZILLA says:
it's staggering how much they fuck it up though really.
1. people who read the comics know the pre-story & don't care to see it rehashed
2. people who don't read the comics don't care about the pre-story (or they'd read the comics) & just want to see ass kickin.
All that said the first hour of Sin City is fucking fantastic. wanna know why? cause
1. They had an awesome comic to work with
2. They took only very minor liberites with the storyline
3. It has pretty much NO exposition (thanks to the comics, but also like MOST comics)your dumped straight into Hardigan's story. as it should be.
They should base all comix2films off this formula, dont make a batman film make a Batman - Killing Joke movie. a full graphic novel story that just needs to be adapted to the screen. That comic was popular as shit FOR A REASON...
No 50 minutes of, right. there was this guy. his parents died - & then something about bats happened... you see bats..
so he's batman
cause of the thing that happened with the bats...
BATS!
thats why he's batman.
cause of the bats..
for fucks sake who wants to watch that, & before you laugh - think of most of the batman films that have been released...................
Comic2Films should be awesome but for the most part they are not.
& like Twisted Sister said
I'm NOT GOING TO TAKE IT
NO
I AIN"T GONNA TAKE IT
ANYMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE
so what does that mean (other than TML is now 7000 pixels long) it means we need to pitch a screenplay of Batman - Killing Joke or Batman - Judgement on Gotham or something, (Not anything Superman though cause he was always a raving homo, except for that series where he died, that may be OK.) It would be the best comic adaption ever, we'd get rich & Stomp could finally pay someone to look after his PC's. And if anyone says Wah Wah Wah it's too hard, all I have to say is if you're willing to stand in between the oppurtunity for Skaffen to have enough money to buy the Japanese Womens Volleyball Team & a pack of disposable Bic razors thats your choice.
Nuff said, now I've done the hard work. Stomp you do the easy bit & write the screenplay, Skaff & M-Pox can wrestle naked in Peanut Butter to decide who does the pitch to Hollywood exec's dressed in a suit of armour.
("you may be wondering why I'm doing this pitch in a suit of armour, the fact is you see this script if so fucking awesome if my body wasn't constrained by all this metal plating the radness would swell up from my balls & explode my body all over your nice walls, now sit down & open up your fucking chequebook")