THE SCORPIONS

I got a Scorpions best of compilation and it is awesome. (Note: avoid their most recent album, I don't think I have ever deleted something so fast. It was terrible.) Anyway they rip into 4 rocking classics, including the ball-tearingly rocking "Rock You like a Hurricane", and then they masterfully slip into a seductive ballad - gentlemen use the power of this CD to bed women, you will find that Scorpions cover art is actually like an instruction manual, and your pants will be magnetised with seduction energy. The ladies will be drawn to your pants and actually become stuck to them like a giant magnet - just like the album covers suggest. I always thought those covers were stupid, but now I know it's a word to the wise which transcends all language barriers (a good idea too, because the singer's German accent is often unintelligble.) And the message is this: Play this cd in your car and you will get more fuck than you can handle.

Then they rip into a few more hard rocking numbers which act as a soundtrack for you to have wild sex to. Then more ballads while you smoke a cigarette, and rock again to back you up while you scream at the bitch to get you a beer/breakfast/hand you your pants. I wish I had realised the power of this band's music when I was younger, I was actually too young when I got into them (13.) If I had only known, as a teen I would have been able to tear through womankind like a sexual natural disaster.

ROCK!