The Last Chronicles of Thomas Convenant
"The Runes of the Earth", the first of four books in this new series, is going to be out here in time for Christmas.
There has been talk of Elric of Melnibone being the next fantasy franchise to get the feature film treatment. Imagine if Thomas Convenant got the kind of treatment Lord of the Rings did. Armies of urviles, with catapults flinging stone-eating bubbling magic vomit at that huge castle full of martial artist bloodguard who are so tough they laugh at people who use swords. Giants possessed by ravers and turning into serial killers. (no, not chuppa chup sucking whislte blowing dancing boys, ravers were those evil-spirit sick-cunts.) And Thomas Covenant, a leper hero who hates himself and occasionally opens a can of supernatural whoop-ass on dudes. Dark stories with CG coming out your BUTTHOLE. I'm going to have to go to a 2nd hand bookshop and re-read the lot. I loved those books.
On his site there is an interview, I haven't read it but I bet I know what it says.
Q - "Dude, why are you finally getting smart and writing more Thomas Covenant books?"
A - "Well, I realised I suck at writing, and accidentally wrote one of the best fantasy series ever. That series was so cool it spoiled all other fantasy books for people. So when I started writing other shit and was exposed as a complete bag of old wank, I wallowed in mediocrity for years. Now I realise I should stick with the radness. SO there you are. More radness for you dudes. Sorry about Gap Into Conflict, what the fuck was I thinking."
That other fantasy series was so-so, and the sci-fi one was book after book of pure unmitigated shit.
There has been talk of Elric of Melnibone being the next fantasy franchise to get the feature film treatment. Imagine if Thomas Convenant got the kind of treatment Lord of the Rings did. Armies of urviles, with catapults flinging stone-eating bubbling magic vomit at that huge castle full of martial artist bloodguard who are so tough they laugh at people who use swords. Giants possessed by ravers and turning into serial killers. (no, not chuppa chup sucking whislte blowing dancing boys, ravers were those evil-spirit sick-cunts.) And Thomas Covenant, a leper hero who hates himself and occasionally opens a can of supernatural whoop-ass on dudes. Dark stories with CG coming out your BUTTHOLE. I'm going to have to go to a 2nd hand bookshop and re-read the lot. I loved those books.
On his site there is an interview, I haven't read it but I bet I know what it says.
Q - "Dude, why are you finally getting smart and writing more Thomas Covenant books?"
A - "Well, I realised I suck at writing, and accidentally wrote one of the best fantasy series ever. That series was so cool it spoiled all other fantasy books for people. So when I started writing other shit and was exposed as a complete bag of old wank, I wallowed in mediocrity for years. Now I realise I should stick with the radness. SO there you are. More radness for you dudes. Sorry about Gap Into Conflict, what the fuck was I thinking."
That other fantasy series was so-so, and the sci-fi one was book after book of pure unmitigated shit.
posted by stompbox at 11/10/2004 06:35:00 pm
2 Comments:
Let me sum up this post for those of you not paying attention
Bitterness
More Bitterness
Whoah, Orc's
Bitterness
Oops I've become drunk
Ravers
Bitterness
Where's my 20 sided Dice?
Bitterness
Apology.
The author tries to redeem himself.Why can't they ever just say "Yep, I was wrong, but I've learnt my lesson now. Enough 'trying new things' I'm going back to writing what I'm good at and I'll keep em coming as fast as you can read them."
Poofs.
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