TOILET

Human toilets are not sufficient for my needs. I require one with several large cisterns, perhaps housed in a seperate room or better still on the roof above the toilet like a watertower, and I need the toilet to be constantly flushing and screaming when I am in there. Anything less is an occupational health and safety issue, and at work the inadequacy of the toilet facilities means I am constantly breaching my duty of care to my clients. I am picturing a toilet as Salvador Dali might design it, with the result being like taking a dump into Niagra Falls. Teflon might also be worth thinking about, or something more advanced.